"No one ever admits that they wanted to take their life"

I created this blog all the way back in 2009, I had a total of two posts and then gave up putting the time and effort into a blog... I'm not really sure why and I'm not sure why I am going to try it again, but we'll see what happens this time around.

I've never been very good with words, writing or speaking them, but I was encouraged tonight through a conversation with an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. It started off with a few of us sitting around strumming some songs on the guitar. My friend shared a song that he wrote shortly after his dad died (you can listen to the song sung by one of his friends here, the song is called "drive west") and I realized that I really haven't even talked to anyone much since my dad died.

It's been almost 8 months since my dad committed suicide and I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it. After it happened I spent the better part of a couple days not doing anything, because I didn't want to do anything. But shortly after that I had to get back to every day life; my second son was born two days before my dad died, I was in the middle of my first semester back to school since moving back to Kansas, and I had just gotten a new job. But now that things have slowed down I've had more time to think about it, but at this point I still don't have any clarity. I miss my dad, but at the same time I think I'm also angry about the selfish decision he made and the mess that he left me with and I feel like I have a tremendous weight on my shoulders from that decision.

I don't know what the future has in store, but I know that my dad won't be there to help me with things like fixing up my house or going to enjoy the latest comic book movie at the theater, but I know that my Father will be there for me to carry my burden (Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.)  I also have a wonderful family that brings me joy and amazing friends to encourage me in Christ and pray for me.

Go Ahead and Ask Me

Being as tall as I am, I frequently get asked two questions: 1) How tall are you? and 2) Do you play basketball? In fact, I get asked that question so many times that Grace was gracious enough to make me a shirt that has the answers on it.

Now when I respond to the question they ask me why I don't play for the college, to which I usually respond with something like this: "I wanted to focus on getting my education." The men usually respond with a look of disappointment and the women with a enthusiastic "good for you!"

Although hearing the same questions over and over again can get tiresome, it's often countered with a lot of funny gifts. People often find tall things that they want to show me, like this comic strip:

Short Man - "Play a lot of hoops?"

Tall Man - "I prefer to get my exercise chasing people who ask me that."

and this awesome, chocolate bunny:

Things like this make me happy to be my size... also I can reach a lot of things in high places, like the cookie jar on the top shelf :D

Yes... I finally did it

So, for your entertainment purposes, I have finally created a blog. I couldn't have done it any sooner, because so many people were telling me to make one! So now, for those of you who have told me time after time to start a blog, you can criticize my typing, spelling errors, and sentence fragments all you want. Of course, you'll get to enjoy awesome stories as well.
Now for my first story!
My dad had to travel three weeks in a row, so he was only home on the weekends and then off again. This past week was the last one of the three! He came home Friday night, but I was gone most of the day Friday and, of course, all day Saturday. So Grace and I decided that we would go hang out at my house after church to see if they wanted to do anything.
We got back to my house just in time to witness my parents leaving. "We decided that we were going to see if the girls could finally stay home alone, but now that you're here, you can keep an eye on them." After painting an awesome picture of a jayhawk (Kansas' state bird) we came up with a brilliant plan. With the help of my sisters, which we obtained through bribery, we had my parents fooled into thinking that we had gone.

Later that day we went to Grace's house and ended up watching Enchanted; a good movie to make fun of. Towards the end of the movie, right after the ball when the old hag comes in to offer the poison apple, Grace commented on her wonderful teeth. "She's only got one tooth in the middle of her bottom!"
Soon after that is the part of the "true Love's first kiss", one of my personal favorite parts. "So that's how you do a true Love's first kiss, you just get the bottom lip... I'm going to have to try that on momma sometime" - Mr. Page